piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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