dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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