why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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