Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
