I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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