Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
