With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we're making bets on your personal life
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
All the doctor said was why
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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