I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
