Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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