Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
