ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
