Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
you made out with another girl for some wings
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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