stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
