The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
