So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
