i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
