No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
