I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
