Cold hands, warm shart.
where does the pee come out of this thing
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
