We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
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I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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