Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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