It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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