I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
