I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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