What did we do last night that was yellow?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
