Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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