It's Friday. Sex?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
