I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
