do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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