they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
