I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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