Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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