...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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