I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize