yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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