You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
