You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
