How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
