Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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