I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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