Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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