Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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