He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
