I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He did a backflip because drugs
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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