I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
