Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
