Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Randomize
