I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
