I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
