i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
