So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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