so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
