tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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