oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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