i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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