I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
