Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
