youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
