after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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