Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How does it feel to date your dad?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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