In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
