Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
