Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
