It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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